frequently asked questions

This is where frequently asked questions get answered. For whatever reason, certain questions get asked to the band a lot. If you have a question for any or all members, you can email the webbie! Each week, one lucky fan's question will be answered, and he'll recieve his or her very own personal poem from guitarist/songwriter Mark Doerksen!! You will treasure it close to your heart.

I see that John Paul Peters did a bunch of stuff (co-produce, engineer, etc.) on "The Release." Didn't he play bass for Led Zeppelin?
No, that's John Paul Jones. But John Paul Jones is welcome to help out on any Quest material at any time.

Is that Steve on the cover?
Apox on this! Steve is too fast to be captured by photo-graphs.

Does Mark give guitar lessons?
Only if you solve this riddle:
What is green
And rarely seen
Often covered
it hasn't hovered
?    ?    ?    ?

How does Phil's beard grow so fast?
A strict diet of baby gophers.

Where does he get said gophers?
At the store.

That's ridiculous!
No, it's not.

Can you cover _______? Golly, that'd be neat-o swell, mister!
Email and ask.

I heard you guys used to be called Cougar Force. Is this true?
Close, but you're way off. Originally Cougar Doerksen, the name then briefly changed to Laserforce and then finally to Dream Quest.

Why did you change from Cougar Doerksen?
Mark hated it.

Why did you change it from Laserforce?
Steve hated it.

Does Phil ever hate anything?
No. Phil was raised on care bears and strawberry shortcake (both in television and edible forms). His feet are made of pudding and his arms are made of lollipops. When he laughs, carrots die.

Can I be ___'s roadie?
Why do people always ask that? All you do is carry heavy stuff around and watch the cars when it's -40 C outside. But your answer is okay, if you really want to. However, Mark already has a wicked-awesome roadie, Matt "MoMatt" Klassen, and Steve already has a rocktacular roadie, Leanne Warkentin. Phil is just too much of a stud, so he refuses any potential roadie...so far.

Once, I saw you guys, and Mark did this thing while playing where he went, like, up, and then moved really fast. How does he do that?
With confidence.

Our band is faster/better/taller than your band.
Mark's legs are really hairy.

I want to buy an album right now.
Go to this page and see what stores it can be bought at. If you don't live in Winnipeg, go here and it will all work out.

How do you pronounce "Doerksen"?
It rhymes with "Absolutely Rocktacular".

I was talking to Mark six months ago, and I thought that he said that you guys were going to name the album after me. What gives? Also, do you guys have a mascot, kind of like how Iron Maiden has Eddie? (Burton Mikolayenko, 09.12.04)
In response to "What gives?", the reason the album was not named after you is because it tested terribly in the female 18-25 age range. As far as a mascot, in the Cougar Doerksen days there was a mascot. He had a square body, a circle head, and a triangle hat. He made an appearance in a Cougar Doerksen comic book once. However, he died with Cougar Doerksen. Current plans for a mascot include creating a monster that is a compound of Mark's leg hair and Phil's beard hair. He'll be ferocious, but cute enough so that the movie about Dream Quest is PG.

Okay, so would you guys ever consider doing like, a reality television show, in which you all depicted your hilarious selves to the whole world at a designated time weekly? And if so, what time would it be, and what day? I'm SURE I'm not the only one asking this. (Dan Barkman, 9.19.04)
A reality TV show has been considered, but since it the lives of Mark, Steve, and Phil are so similar to the already existing TV show "The Ripping Friends" it wouldn't really be anything new. It would appear Tuesdays at 7:00 p.m. Eastern Time.

I have two questions. First, are you making a video soon, and if so will there be old school skateboarding on it? Also this MAAD game sounds interesting how exactly do you play it? love, chad (Chad Friesen, 9.26.04)
Video, eh? If you mean music video, there'd better be old school skateboarding. There would be ninjas, too. And probably some robots. Or robot ninjas. Have you ever seen the movie Thrashin'? It would be a lot like that, except with better acting. Unfortunately, it isn't in the budget right now. Do you know how hard it is to find a stunt double for a man of Phil's beardiness? Well, it's hard. There's a much better chance of a live show being released on video, but we'll have to just wait and see!
Secondly, MAAD is an interesting game (see the profile on Mark). It was invented by two visionaries long ago, and involves old, discarded foldable high school bleachers, a weathered volleyball, and lots of determination. Also, your will to live has to be questionable. The rules cannot be written down (that's one of the rules) with the exception of the above written rule. It must be passed down from generation to generation.

Without a question there has been a small contingency of Mennonites and non-Mennonites alike who are all united in their stand to have Matt Klassen [Mark's roadie] grace the stage of performance and give rock what it needs, a little TLC. So my question to you is when will you unleash MoMatt in all his singing majesty? Did he not appear on your newest and affordable cd? So, why not his stage presence? Jealousy? Fear? Nonchalantness? Matt's body odour problem? Or the Standard Rule that only those who worked themselves out of the darkness of the abyss into the light of truth are allowed on stage? I would like to know. Respect. (Jason Allard, 10.03.04)
Your question raises several interesting points, but there is an underlying issue that nullifies the ability to answer these. You see, Matt (aka MoMatt) is not a man of this world. His value system is different than that of, say, you or I. He is a deep thinking and methodical philosopher. So just because Mennonites and non-Mennonites alike wish - demand, really - for him to grace the stage and inject some TLC (to use the parlance of our times), you have failed to consider that MoMatt does not feel the need to do so, and therefore he will not. Consider this - Should not Mark Messier retire from the NHL? Everyone agrees he should, and yet he doesn't! Respect.

So, now that you're well into the early stages of fame and fortune it's obvious that some good marketing is in order. My question is simply this: WILL THERE BE ACTION FIGURES?
yes, and what kind of names will they have and what will they be like? Swords and stuff like crossbows, or ninja warrior stuff and numchucks, or maybe futuristic laser toting renegades with flying boots. Anyway, the other big question lurking in my mind about these action fifures is if they will be able to combine to form some type of Super combo attack unit thing like the Power Rangers. I think that's it. Have a splendid day. Yours Truly and Honestly, (Jordache..., 10.10.04)
Action fifures? If you mean action figures, then, yes, there will be action figures. There will be three unique life-size characters, and no more! One will play guitar, one will play drums, and one will sing AND play bass. Their names will be "Captain Laserface," "Doomentia," and "Señior Rockopolis." It is a limited edition (only one made). They are completely full of surprise, and you will not know what to expect from them. Swords? Crossbows? Ninja warrior stuff and numchucks? Maybe if they're feeling tame that day!!! If you're lucky, you won't die! However, unlike the Power Rangers (who become more powerful by forming 'some type of Super combo attack unit thing'), when these three combine they simply dance, dance, dance!! Here's a promo picture of them without weapons:

I have heard rumors of a collection of Dreamquest Bobblehead dolls being released. Is there any truth to these rumors, and if so have you ever considered partnering with ChiaPets to create a Chia-Phil-Bobblehead that grows facial hair when you add water? (Ben Harapiak, 10.17.04)
The rumours are, unfortunately, untrue. Therefore everything following "...if so..." should, by good grammer's sake, not be answered. But it will be answered anyway. The truth is, Phil is a Chia pet. However, he is not a bobblehead. His head is fashioned to his body with a 'neck.' Necks were all the rage around when Phil was born.

If the members of Dream Quest were to enter into a cage match, using only their instruments as weapons, who would come out the victor? And further more would there be a show after? (Tarin S. 11.28.04)
This is a complicated question! First of all, the best weapon BY FAR is Phil's bass. It has a fairly pointy headstock that would be advantageous in any stabbing fights. However, by weighing in at about 9 pounds, it would cause some loss of manouverability. Contrast that with Mark's guitar, which is about 4 pounds - It's easy to see who would be more nimble! Steve's drums are obviously not the most offensively threatening, yet they act as a solid shield.
Second, the personalities. As earlier alluded to, Phil is pretty much a sugar-cake. He is much too nice. The Doerksen boys have been training to be ninjas for some time now, so they are fierce and ready for fisticuffs. However, given their fondness for Phil, they would likely turn on each other first. Past fights have pretty much been split between the two. So let's see what happens!
Mark: I want this song to be played faster.
Steve: Contrary to what has just been supposed, it is my opinion that it sounds more triumphant at the current velocity. What do your cognitive processes conclude, Phillip?
Phil: Poof-plumb-doo-ba-dah!
Mark: (ignoring Phil) Steve, I think you are wrong because - (steve throws a drum stick) AHHHRRGHGH! MY EYE!
(Mark stumbles around, then knocks over Steve's China Cymbol, which slices Steve's finger off...again. Both Doerksen's lose conscienceness.)
Phil: Whoopie! I win, I win!
There you have it.

I was listening to "Subvieno" the other day and was trying very hard to understand what was been said. Being a child of the 70's, I thought perhaps this song was back-masked. So I played the song backwards and thought I heard "Eat at Burger King , Drink Coke" in a Homer Simpson-ish voice. Is this actually correct? Do you have some corporate sponsorships that you need to keep secret? Also, any plans to come out with the release on 8-track? (Russ Penner, 12.26.04)
Children of the 70's are curious creatures indeed. I'm going to go out on a limb here and read between the lines. The real answer to your subliminal question is no, the Man is not behind Dream Quest. The Man will not get us down, and you shouldn't worry about him. However, if somehow the Man did want Burger King and Coke to sponsor Dream Quest with their delicious, extra tasty all beef whoppers with cheese and succulent, sweet-but-not-too-sweet precious nectar Coke, Dream Quest would be happy to put slogans in their music, backwards or otherwise. But why would a corporate sponsor want to be kept a secret? That's just silly.
As far as the 8-track, here's a neat trick: Keeping in mind that "The Release" was recorded in True Stereo, you can actually buy 4 copies, then play them SIMULTANEOUSLY on 4 different CD players and IT WILL BE IN SYNC!!! Make sure you time it well, though. That's kind of like an 8-track, except not at all.

Who updates the Dream Quest Website? (Tim 05.09.05)
That's a very good, and easy question. The people who update this site are the fans, with their chunks of art, and their determination to make Dream Quest to play as many shows as possible. Without their demand to know everything about these characters and the music they make, this site would have nothing. Space would be filled with those tacky 'under construction' signs that were quite popular when the internet began. What little content we did have would be riddled with typos, were it not for the conscientious fans constantly berating us with "I before E except after C except in neighbour..." Yes, without the fans, we might be forced to create a site where reason has no place and anarchy is a wild horse that reigns freely, grazing in the long green grass and eating our curtains. And for that we thank you.

If each of you could be a crayon what colour would you be?
I think ill be.. hmm.. all of them! ill make a rainbow crayon! :D - Annette from little old thunder bay (05.27.05)
If Phil was a crayon, he would be Jazzberry Jam, because , if you know Phil, you know that he likes to be called PJ Jazzy Janz. Actually, not a lot of people are aware of this, but Phil used to be a great jazz musician until he got hit in the head with a Witch's cauldren, causing memory loss and a case of rickets.
If Mark was a crayon, he would be Caribbean Green. The reason? If you take the letters in Caribbean Green and rearrange them, you get "Been A Big N-Racer". And N-racers are the fastest kind.
If Steve was a crayon, he would be Unmellow Yellow. Seriously, if you look at him wrong, he will flip out and share jokes with you, then run off.
Answered with a little help from Crayola.

hey this is Chris boyer just saying hi and how are you....I think you should have mascots.....me and Jordan would like to be them. (Chris Boyer, 08.07.05)
The only real question there is "how are you." And the answer is, fine. I slept really heavy last night, and when I woke up my arms were numb, and my elbow hurt until noon. Maybe you and Jordan have an idea how I could prevent this from happening again. Thanks for asking!

If you could be anyone in the world who would it be? im not to sure on who id be, but they ust have super powers.. (A. Bouvier, 08.14.05)
Steve's not available for comment, but...
Phil says: "The Pinball Wizard." He didn't say why, but I imagine it's the talent with pinball machines and whatnot.
Mark says: "Phil. Because if this somehow comes true, he gets to be the Pinball Wizard, and I want to be the Pinball Wizard. Why does Phil get to have all the fun all the time? It's Mark's turn, you greedy mustachoid fiend."

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